Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
foreskin is a definite game changer
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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