i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
