Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
