google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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