So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
