Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
