yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you didnt know i had herpes?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
