Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
