when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize