The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
