thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
