I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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