Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
