any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
