I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
