why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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