At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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