They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
