it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
