You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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