Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
