you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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