Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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