Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you win again, gameday.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
