she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
there was a trapeze. enough said
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
