2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
