pedialite and red bull = repair kit
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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