here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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