im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
