Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
