I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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