How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
