I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
