you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
