i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
