I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
