hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
