oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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