she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
