What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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