No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
