I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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