he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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