the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
