watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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