umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
