The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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