Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
