the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
