so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
